Archer, Patience Loader Rozsa, Recollections of Past Days: The Autobiography of Patience Loader Rozsa Archer, ed. Sandra Ailey Petree , 135-41.
[T]he Morning was quite damp and chiley when we started and after we campt for night it rained so bad we staid in the carrag all Night[.] My brother John[,] his boy and the teemster slept in the wagon[.] My sister in law Staid in the carrage with me and the children[.] My husband threw awagon cover over the carrage and he took shelter under that[.] the night was cold[.] I beged of my dear husband to come in the carrage so that he would not get wett[.] I told him we could all keep dry and warm but he said no that he was allright. but still I fealt very anxious about him knowing how delicate his health was and before morning he caugh terrable[.] I told him that he had taken cold and it prooved that he had[.] he was one of those staut hearted men that would never give up untill he was obliged too[.] he was abroaken down man[.] his constetution was gone when he returned home from the war but he never complained as long as he could get around[.] boath his Mind and body was full of activity and currage to the last. . .
he was one that never complained but was allways cheerfull and hopefull to the last allthough I new he suffered pain and weakness of body <very> ofton but when I would ask him if he was not feeling well[,] he would Say I am allright[,] an old Soldier can endure lots. Many times he had severe atacts of his heart but he never complained[.] he was hopefull to the last[.] he kept his sickness to himself as long as he could[.] he told Captain McClintock he new if he gave up and told me that he was sick that I would greive and frett and perhaps get sick and would not be able to take care of our three boys
[W]hen we arived at fort Karney Magor McClintock acompanyed My husband to the Docter. when thay returned to camp I ask him what the Doctor said. well he answerd me he did not say very much[.] told me if I would consent to stay at Karney for a time[,] he would undertake to docter me but it would not be any good for him to give me medicine and for me to continue on my journey[.] I wanted him to stay for afew weeks and let the Doctor treat him: but to this he would not consent too[.] he said My dear Patience we have every thing all fixed for our Journey[,] what could we do with the horses and Muels[?] we would have to hire Some Man to take care of them and to live in tents it would not be comfortable for you[.] he said it will be best for us to travle on with the command so we can have protection from Indians if needed: poor dear man he did not tell me all the Doctor said to him he told him there was but very little hopes for him that his lungs was in such abad condition likewise his heart was bad. he told him he would never reach Utah[.] the Dr. told him he may live afew days but he could never arive in Utah[.] after he and Captain McClintock left the Doctor[,] My poor husband talked to the Captain and made him promise to See Me and the children safe home to Utah to My Mother[.] he Said he could not talk to me himself and tell me what the Doctor told him and beged of him to tell me all after he had past away[.] he Said in my dear wifes condition I am afraid this sad news would be to much for her[.] Captain promised him to tell me everything after if it was So that he died and that he would render me all the assistance I needed on the journey. and when thay returned to camp after consulting with the Doctor[.] My dear husband was quite cheerfull[.] at least he tryed his best to be cheerfull[.] he braved death to the last: he was in his tent settleing up his accounts as he was quarterMasters Clerk[.] he said that he wanted to leave his book all straight. he called to Mrs Obrian as she passed his tent and asked her to go and tell Mrs Rozsa to hurrey and get dinner ready for he was starving hungary[.] so she came and told that I must hurrey with my dinner for Mr Rozsa[,] said he wanted his dinner as soon as I could get it[.] I had allready alarge roast of beef baking but it would not be ready for an hour[.] in afew moments he came to Me and said[,] never mind Patience I could not wait any longer so I have got an old Soldier’s lunch <and> said you bett I have enjoyed it[.] I ask him what he had been eating[.] he said I went to the cook and ask him to give me some nice strukey bacon and bread[.] I cut the bacon in thin slices and lay it between to sices of bread with some garlick. I ask him if he thought that was good for him[.] he Said he thought it was Saying it made me feel good: I told him what time the dinner would be ready[.] he Said I will go to My tent an fix up my books[.] I told him I would send for him when dinner was ready. but when dinner was ready he sent word he did not want any that he had eat all he Needed:
[T]hat night he rested pretty good[.] the Next Morning we started on our journey again after two days rest at <fort> Kearny[.] he road with me in the carrage as he was no more able to ride horseback as he had been doing[.] we traveled untill Noon then we camped again untill the next Morning[.] he went to his tent and resumed his writing[.] some men[,] farmers came into camp with aload of hay[.] Magor McClintock had bought for the Muils[.] the men went to Mr Rozsas tent to get there pay and my dear husband said to them pleas wait afew moments[.] I am feeling quite bad my breath is so short[.] the man said you are very sick sir[.] oh Yes it seems so but it will pass of[.] again I will attend to you in afew moments and So he did[.] he still worked at his books and kept everything straight:
[T]hat Night he had abad night and in the morning he was unable to be up and had to lie in bed in the carrage[.] we traveled again untill noon[.] the Doctor came to see him and told us to get him into the tent and get some hott water and put ablanked in it and, role him in the blanket and put some oilcloth over the blanket to keep in the steem but the poor dear man could not endure it[.] he prayed so to let him die[.] as the <wet> blanket was put around him[,] he jumpt up nearly to the top of the tent[.] he Said let me lie down and die[.] I was holding him up[.] I thought if I let him lie down that his breath would surely seace[.] I said No my dear Rozsa I cannot let you go dont say let you die I cannot endure that[.] after atime he became More easy and rested some[.] I sat by his side and Slept alittle[.] we was boath glad when morning came and My brother put him in the carrage again[.] ready to travle another day not knowing if he would live through the day
[W]e Started early in the morning and camped again at noon[.] the Doctor came again to see him[.] he ask the Doctor to give him something to ease his pain so that he could get alittle rest[.] so the Doctor went to his tent and soon sent the stewart with some Medicine[.] Just before he came[,] My husband requested me to take him into the tent and make him abed[,] saying I will tell you how I want my bed made. you can take the Mess chest and My writing desk then take the seat from the carrage and rest that on the chest and desk and then take the feather bed and put on that as I dont want to lie on the ground. he never would Sleep on afeather bed: I was rather suprized that he Should want to lie on afeather bed. he sais my poor boans are So near my skin that I dont feel that I can lie on the ground any More[.] I said allright I will fix the bed Just as you wish[.] he thanked me[.] My dear husband was apirfect gentleman in Maners he was allways polite to Me[.] I never knew him to ask me for anything without saying Patience will you please give me so and so whatever he ask for and what ever I did for him[.] he allways thanked me to his last breath
[A]fter he went to bed that night[,] on the bed prepared for him just as he ask for he said that I is very nice[.] he than Said Now Patience I want you to go to bed and rest as you are tiard[.] I took abuflow robe folded it and fixed myself abed on the ground by his side[.] he Said now dear you try and sleep[.] he said he fealt comfortable[.] the Doctor had gave him Some Medicine to quiet him so that he could rest[.] about twelve oclock at Night I thought he was Sleeping[.] I got up and found him siting up in bed[.] I ask him why he was siting up and helped him to lie back on his pillows[.] I ask him how he was feeling[.] he Said thank you I am feeling better I can lie on My left side[.] he then said I can lie on either Side and I can breath quite easy[.] I told him I was so thankfull that he was feeling Some better[.] he then Said I want You need to lie down and rest[.] I am all right and you need to rest all you can: I then did as he requested Me and laid down again after I had rapt him up warm and told him not to try to Sit up again as he would take cold:
[T]he next time I got up I found he had stretched himself out straight and his feet was out from under the covers and quite cold[.] I said oh My dear Rozsa why did you put your feet out of bed you surely will take cold[.] he Said he was not cold and was feeling better[.] he then said I want you to lie down and rest[.] I told him I would if he wished me too and he said he did as I needed rest[.] the night Seemed long and dreary to me as I was all alone in the tent all night[.] as My children and sister in law was sleeping in the carrage and My Brother and his Son was sleeping in the wagon[.] I got up again at four oclock and he/ had again got his feet from under the covers and thay was quite cold[.] I rapt them up again to try to warm them and when I spoke to him and ask him how he was feeling[.] he Said thank you Patience I am better and as I looked at him he looked at me so tenderly and the tears ran from his poor eyes and he could not Speak any more to me[.] I called to my brother to come quick that My dear husband was dieing and he went for the Docter: and he came at once[.] he Said helo Rozsa my boy how are you this Morning[?] he answerd the Do[cto]r. saying thank you I am better: the Do[cto]r. gave him alittle brandy but he Spit it out of his Mouth with great fource and seemed quite hurt that the Do[cto]r. should give him brandy[.] I ask him if he would have a drink of water[.] he said Yes[.] I gave him water[.] he thanked me and Smiled[.] this was the last word he spoke[.] the Drs. said he would not last very long[.] it was then six oclock and the bugle sounded to Strike tents[.] the captain ask me if I would have him Mooved into the carrage[.] I beged of him not to disturbed <him> as the Doctor said he could not live long[.] he Said thay would wait alittle while to see if he past away but as the Doctor was watching him he told the Captain that he may last several hours so Captain McClintock came to me and Said that thay would have to travle on to make there regular March[.] he said he was Sorrey to leave me with My Poor dieing husband in Such alonely place[.] he said that in loosing My husband that he himself would loose a brother and atrue friend as Mr Rozsa has been to me for along time and I have promised him that I would help you all I can[.] this was all arainged between him and me the day I went to fort Kerney with him to the Doctor then he told him that he would not live to go to Utah. Now we will have to leave you if You dont want to have poor Rozsa Mooved untill he passes away but I dont think it is Safe for you and afew men to be left alone here as the Indians are So bad on the plains. but I will leave six Men and the Doctor with you to help you[.] then he bid me good Morning and went on his journey with the Soldiers.
After thay had all left camp we fealt loanley[.] we staid there about two hours and Still my dear husband was living sleeping quietly away[.] the Doctor came to me and Said poor Rozsa is sleeping peacefully[.] said he was not suffering any pain[.] he said he was geting anxious to travle on as it was unsafe for us to be left so far behind the command and he advised me to let the Men lift him bed and all just as he was on the bed[.] he said the men can lift him right into the carrage without dissturbing him[.] he said it will not hurt Your husband at all and it will be safer for us all to be traveling on to overtake the command as soon as we can[.] of course I realized the danger we was in to be so far away from the Men at Such troublesome times with the Indians[,] So I gave my consent to have My dear Rozsa Mooved into the carrage and we traveled on
[W]e had not been on the road more than an hour[.] My teamster driving the freight wagon going ahead[.] the Men left for our guard was rideing in that wagon with my sister inlaw and my three little boys[.] she took charge of the children that day as thay could not be with me in the carrage[,] there was not room for them[.] the Docter road horseback[.] thay went over a low hill and we was in the hollow and we could not see them[.] So we was left alone with my poor dieing husband[.] there was avery rough looking Man came from some place[.] we could not tell were he came from[.] We was traveling rather Slow[.] this Man went in front of the horses took hold of there bridels and stopt the horses and would not let my brother drive on[.] My brother ask him to please let us go on as we had avery Sick Man[.] told him he was dieing and we wanted to get to camp as soon as we could[.] then the man came to the carrage and stood for amoment looking at my poor husband then he looked at me but said nothing then turning to my brother motioned for him to drive on[.] I must Say booth my brother and myself was somewhat afraid of this terrable looking fellow[.] he was armed with two pistols and aknife in his belt[.] when he told us to go on I told My brother to hurrey and get up the hill so that we could get closer to the wagon were the men was[.] pretty Soon we Saw the Docter coming to look for us
[W]e traveled on for about an hour then we stopt as I could See that my dear husband was gone[.] he Seemed to Sleep away So peacefull and quiet without the least Strugle[.] the Docter came into the carrage[,] sat by him for afew Moments then he said Your husband is dead Mrs. Rozsa[.] his sufferings are all over. he said he never docterd a man like him before in all my practise[.] he Said I never saw a Man with such currage and keep up to the last as he has done and attend to his dutys to the last day; Now he Said to my brother drive on and keep up with the guard it is not safe for us to be traveling alone[.] My husband died May 24. 1866 at one aclock in the day
[W]e reach camp about an hour after[.] then Magor McClintock orderd a tent pitched to have My husband prepared to be buried[.] he orderd some ceder planks two inches thick at the fort to be brought to make a cofen for my dear husband and he put aguard to be in the tent all night[.] oh that terrable loansome Night I can never forget[.] the Docters wanted to examine my husband after he died[.] Magor McClintock came to me and ask me to let them do it[.] at first I objected[.] I told him I did not want thay Should do so[.] he was dead and I fealt I did not want his poor body disturbed[.] he said it would be asatesfaction to the Doctor as he could not understand the cause of his death and My brother could be preasant[.] So I gave my consent for them to do it with the promise that thay did not take any part away from him: this thay agreed too. after it was all over My brother came to me and told me all about what the Docters did and thay said he never could have lived very much longer[.] if he had not taken this last cold that one of his lungs was entirely gone and the other <was> nearly gone.
[H]e was aman that never complained[.] he was allways cheerfull[.] so we could never tell if he was sick or not[.] some times if I ask him if he was not feeling well he would laugh and Say I am allright[.] old Soldiers dont complain of trifels..
[A]fter the Men had washed him and my brother had trimed his hair and whiskers and he was dressed and laid out[.] I with my three dear little boys went to see him[.] my dear little Frank three and half years old looked at his dear papa and said oh Why did God do that to my poor Pap so soon and burst into tears as though his little heart would break[.] John his brother was Six years old and he did not seem to feel so bad as dear little Frank did[.] he grieved and fretted for his father for five Months then he died[.] he said allways after his father died that he wanted to go to his papa:
[T]hay did not burrey my husband untill the Next Morning[.] Magor McClintock had a six foot grave dug and head boards with his name[,] birth and date of death placed on his grave[.] Magor McClintock said that my dear husband requested him to burey him deep down So that the Wolves could not scrach him out of his grave[.] I ask the Magor not to have any guns fird over his grave neither did <I> want that the band Should play over him[.] I fealt that would be to much for me to endure. my greif was so great that I wanted to be as quiet as possible[.] to part with my husband was allmost more than I could endure. to be left alone with my three baby boys to care for and raise without the help of my there dear kind father[.] this seemed to much for me in my condition but thank God he blessed me and gave me Strength day by day to endure my severe trial and after many hardships in traveling this long journey I arived home in Salt Lake city about July 21 1866..
My husband wrote to my brother or <unknoon to me>[.] Mother previous to his death requesting her to send My two Brothers in law to come out to meet us in Echo Canyon and accordingly Br Paul and George Harris my brother in law came into camp one evening enquiring for Mrs Rozsa[.] I can say we was very pleased to meet each other after an absence of five Years. in one way it was apleasant meeting. but on learning that my dear husband had died on the journey and his body buried and left on the plains hundreds of Miles back. this caused Sorrow and the meeting of them Seemed to renew my greif and Sorrow anew…
I found in Magor McClintock a true friend as he had promised my dear husband that he would take care of me and my children and help me all he could on the journey and See that I got home Safe to my Mother[.] in this he prooved faithfull to his promise and I arrived home in Salt L city I think about the <22> of July 1866.